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A note from a single-mom: Christians, we need more than just your opinions on abortion.

No, I'm not a Christian who's pro-choice. Like many of you, I too am pro-life. When voting, I also select candidates who are most in line with my beliefs - who don't agree with murder of innocent lives. I also happen to be a single-mom. A single-mom who once was pressured to abort my own baby. ... a single-mom who chose life. ... a single-mom who is now painfully confused by your obnoxiously loud opinions. You see, pro-life isn't just a darkened circle on a ballot or a Saturday protest at the capital. If we are going to vote pro-life, it's a longterm decision that we need to carry out until the day we die. If we are going to vote pro-life, we also need to be pro-birthed-babies and pro-single-moms. Nine months later, give or take, that baby your votes helped save has needs that can no longer be met on the inside of his or her mother. Meaning, you'll have to actually see him or her and society will be impacted by what type of person he or she b
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Your suffering is valid... even if you aren't a starving child in Africa

"Emotional pain cannot kill you, but running from it can. Allow. Embrace. Let yourself feel. Let yourself heal." - Vironika Tugaleva Not long ago, a friend and I were talking and sharing things we could each use prayer for. After I spoke, she replied "Oh my gosh, I have absolutely no reason to complain about my problems when you're going through that!" I kindly corrected her. "Your problems are valid. We are all doing the best we can with what we have. What you're going through is unique and challenging to you. What I'm going through is unique and challenging to me." You've probably had similar conversations during your life with someone who either dismisses their own problems because yours seem worse, or dismisses yours because someone else has it worse. Here's the thing: Suffering is personal, not quantifiable. Of course there are people in the world who have it worse than us. But does that mean one's sufferin
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In response to the ignorance: here is "why she stayed" with the abuser

"She was a forgiver. Her heart was so large, she didn't know how to give up on people because she always believed the good in those she loved." - C.R. Bittar Abuse is a process that unfolds very slowly with calculated tactics by a master manipulator. Abusers don't walk up to you and punch you on the first date. I feel the need to clarify the obvious, because so many of you seem to be confused. So many of you, don't know why victims stay. You think we are ignorant. You think we have low self-eseteem. You think we are poor. You think we are a certain ethnicity. You think we are uneducated. You think our dads abused us; therefore we sought a man who would reinforce the negative self-image we must've adapted from fathers who tainted our perception of ourselves. You think we are poor judges of character. You think we are naive. You think we came from broken homes. You think we don't know how to read people and are gullible. .... and
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bad boys, brats & divas: we're raising what we're praising

" The way we talk to our children becomes their inner-voice ." My son is a very active toddler who is full of energy and has a mischievous personality. A few weeks ago I found he had gotten into markers and was coloring on my bedroom furniture. "Bravery!" I exclaimed. "Is that something you should be doing?" I was shocked at his reply "Me, bad boy." I quickly replied "No, you're not a bad boy. You're a good boy. But you did make a bad decision." He argued "Me, bad boy." It's continued since then. Every time I have to correct or redirect him he has been telling me "Me, bad boy." I don't know where this idea came from. I'm not sure if someone who was watching him told him he was a bad boy. But it breaks my heart and I am trying my hardest to get him to stop saying it. I'm sure some wouldn't give it a second thought. I'm sure some frequently use that very phrase to poin
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God loves you... even when you're pissed at Him

" God is the only one who can love everything you are despite everything you're not. " You know when you're in one of those really rough seasons how it's easy to wonder if God is even there? You feel abandoned and it seems like you have no capacity to improve your situation. You just need someone to throw you a lifeline. I've been there.  Recently, I was in a season of complete burnout. Of feeling like God was only there when I performed and checked all the boxes. I could only keep that up for so long before I ran out of steam. That mixed with several other life circumstances that all hit at once (Because that's what they do, right? All hit at once...) and I was done. I had nothing left to give.  And I was PISSED. ...pissed at God.  Can I be super honest?  At the peak of it all, there was a night that was particularly brutal. I was laying on my bathroom floor. Crying and screaming at God "Where the hell are you?!" 
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being grateful for the hard times...

"I'm thankful for every break in my heart. I'm grateful for every scar. Some pages were turned, some bridges were burned, but there were lessons learned." How often have you looked back on your life with a different perspective than the one you had during the midst of a specific memory? Maybe the pain from a terrible event has subdued with time. Maybe the resentment you once carried is no longer there and you gained the ability to see the other person's perspective - which now allows you to extend grace. Time is a beautiful gift, isn't it? Some horrific events, surely are an exception. Anyone who has lost a loved one could attest to this. I suspect you never get to a point in life where that memory doesn't hurt and your heart no longer aches with longing. Even though grieving changes with time, nobody ever gets to a place of gratitude for the loved one they lost. I would never insinuate that because that would be foolish. However, with respect to
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let's raise men, not cowards. deal?

"What a terrifying time to be raising boys" she said - glumly shaking her head after catching a recent update on the news. "It's too bad women can make accusations against men and get away with it. Our poor sons will have to constantly live in fear of women; always worried - knowing that even just looking at the wrong way might warrant a false allegation of abuse. What a shame." It didn't sit well with me. Not even a little bit. Having past abusive encounters with more than 1 man, my heart wanted to vomit when it felt her words and caught a glimpse of the reality that shapes her perspective. I couldn't disagree with her more.  What an amazing time to raise our boys to be men. What a beautiful occasion for more men to arrive on the scene. We've never needed them more than we do now. The job opportunity is in high demand.  To raise our sons to accept that no means no .  To raise our sons to use their gift of leadership to empo
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