Why we should stop telling our daughters they are pretty...

Last week I wrote a post about why we need to stop labeling our sons as flirts and heartbreakers. You can read it here.

Now I am doing a follow up post on why we should stop telling our daughters they are pretty.

I know... I sound like a harsh, abrasive mother, right?

Like, who wouldn't want their daughter to know she is beautiful?

I get where you're coming from...

and I agree.

But I think there is more to it.

Let me explain.

In simply telling our daughters how lovely their outward appearance is, we help coax them right into society's hands. The same society that will inevitably wreak havoc on their self-esteem at some point in their lives.

The society that screams "you have nothing to offer besides your looks!"...

...that begs "don't you dare go in public without your makeup on!"

The society that offers endless comparisons of who looks better; who has a firmer, tanner, more flawless body than her.

The society that will tell her the porn addiction was her fault for not "putting out" or the affair because she "let herself go" after her body performed a miracle and brought life into the world.

The society that tells her she is nothing more than a pretty face and doesn't deserve to make as much money as her male counterpart.

I have no problem telling my daughter she is beautiful.

I try to remember to do so everyday.

But it comes after telling her that she is so compassionate and has a beautiful heart; that her brain is brilliant and her ideas are so creative and clever.

It comes after telling her she is strong and capable.

It comes after telling her that she is a woman of God and that she is a bold, courageous leader.

So yes, our daughters need to know they are beautiful because they are.

But more than they need to hear affirmation tied to fleeting looks, they need to hear they are worthy... because of who they are.

Comments

15 signs you're in an abusive relationship

After getting out of an extremely abusive relationship, I was dumbfounded by how I even got mixed up with the guy. Mind you, it wasn't physically abusive. Which, actually makes it harder for anyone to recognize. That's the abuse I am talking about in this post... the silent kind.. that often goes unnoticed, until it's too late. Though I can now look back and see red flags, I didn't then. The man wasn't consistent with his medication for multiple diagnosed mental illnesses and also had a very serious undiagnosed mental disorder . So keep in mind there were a lot of calculated tactics and numerous lies strategically placed to keep me from the truth. Regardless, things stand out now that didn't then. Had I been given a checklist of what qualifies as abuse - beyond physical violence - what I was enduring would've checked all of those boxes. That checklist would've looked something like this. If you are in a relationship and find yourself up aga...

God loves you... even when you're pissed at Him

" God is the only one who can love everything you are despite everything you're not. " You know when you're in one of those really rough seasons how it's easy to wonder if God is even there? You feel abandoned and it seems like you have no capacity to improve your situation. You just need someone to throw you a lifeline. I've been there. Recently, I was in a season of complete burnout. Of feeling like God was only there when I performed and checked all the boxes. I could only keep that up for so long before I ran out of steam. That mixed with several other life circumstances that all hit at once (Because that's what they do, right? All hit at once...) and I was done. I had nothing left to give. And I was PISSED. ...pissed at God. Can I be super honest? At the peak of it all, there was a night that was particularly brutal. I was laying on my bathroom floor. Crying and screaming at God "Where the hell are you?!" ...

being grateful for the hard times...

"I'm thankful for every break in my heart. I'm grateful for every scar. Some pages were turned, some bridges were burned, but there were lessons learned." How often have you looked back on your life with a different perspective than the one you had during the midst of a specific memory? Maybe the pain from a terrible event has subdued with time. Maybe the resentment you once carried is no longer there and you gained the ability to see the other person's perspective - which now allows you to extend grace. Time is a beautiful gift, isn't it? Some horrific events, surely are an exception. Anyone who has lost a loved one could attest to this. I suspect you never get to a point in life where that memory doesn't hurt and your heart no longer aches with longing. Even though grieving changes with time, nobody ever gets to a place of gratitude for the loved one they lost. I would never insinuate that because that would be foolish. However, with respect to ...

Her Perspective

Search This Blog